Blogging for Jesus

austin_sunset
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Just kidding.

I was thinking today about the integration of technology into our daily routines, since now we have Blackberrys, cell phone GPS/MP3 players, etc.... I thought of a couple of upgrades that mobile service providers can build into their phones and networks to make life a little easier for all of us, especially those of us who travel a lot. It would work kind of like GM's On*Star, using GPS to figure out your exact location and provide you with the information and services you need that are the closest to you. It would be a huge help to those in an unfamiliar area.

My idea goes like this: Let's say you want a pizza. You could dial a code like #PIZZA and get a prerecorded list of all the pizza places that deliver to your current location. You pick the one you want, press the corresponding number on your keypad, and you're automatically connected to your pizza joint of choice, who already have your location based on data delivered via the Caller-ID network. Tell them what you want, and sit back and relax.

This could work for me on *so* many levels... Here are a few more examples:

#TAXI - mostly like the pizza one, except that I don't particularly care who picks me up. Would come in particularly handy when you just walked out of a random bar in a random city, it's 4AM, you're shithoused, and there are either no taxis to be found or you're way too drunk to read the phone numbers on the taxis speeding by.

#ATM - Lets me know where the closest ATM is.

#BEER - Where is the closest pub with no cover charge and cheap Newcastle drafts?

#HOOKER - This one is pretty self-explanitory.

#STRIPPER - For when you can't afford a hooker.

#SHOWS - What good bands are playing in City X tonight? Where is the venue?

#EXCUSE - Have you ever been out and met someone who is obviously WAY more into you than you are them? Ever bought a drink for a beautiful woman who turns out to be a man? Me neither. But if you do, just dial this code to get a callback exactly 7 minutes later with a pre-recorded message giving you an "emergency" excuse to ditch them. And maybe the tab, too.

#LOAN - Dialing this code would instantly wire the desired amount of money into your bank account- pending credit approval, of course. This would come in handy for those situations where you meet that sophisticated cutie whose tastes run just a little richer than you were prepared for.

#FLOWERS - Met a hottie but just can't seem to seal the deal? Watch her melt in adoration when Jimbo the Clown walks in with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and sings her a Michael Bolton song.

#TJAYHELP - This code would automatically connect you to me (for a small fee, of course), whenever you need advice in an awkward situation. Hopefully you'll be polite, and I won't have to hang up on you.


As you can see, this program would benefit many of us at some time or another. I can think of a few functions I'd use regularly. For the sake of mankind, please email your mobile service provider with this link, and let them know how badly we need this service!!! We'll all be winners in the end.



-t

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