myspace
.....what a joke.
It's mostly a total shithole, but whatever. I'm not ashamed. Much. I know some people on there, have gotten back in touch with some folks from high school through it, and have met, well, let's not go there right now.
Anyway, I just wanted to let my blog peeps know that if you're on that pile of crap website, send me a friend request so that we can make fun of all the dummies together. And sometimes I post stupid bulletins just to mess with people. And even if you're not on there, my page streams one of my songs. And my "band" page (there's a link to it from the other one) has some of my stuff available for (free) download.
Some people have like 6,000 "friends" on there like it's some sort of high school popularity contest. Like you really win a fucking prize for being a hot chick showing your ass and having a blue zillion guys hitting on you on the intarweb. Congratulations, you're gonna make myspace student council now for sure!!
Once, I created a fake profile of a hot chick on there just to see what would happen. It was fucking HILARIOUS. Within 10 minutes of having created the profile, my inbox was full of desperate pleas from all sorts of loser guys hoping to score. A grand total of about 3 of them looked like a chick might possibly go out with them if they showered, but then they opened their mouths. It's amazing the lack of male quality the ladies on myspace have to choose from. They all have names like "G-DOGG" and "BORN HUSSLA." Except for the emo ones, who always have names like "my soul is a helicopter with your blood in my veins." I was getting messages like, "Hey sxe, just wanna let u know that I'm down for whateva. Your'e hot, and some bitches tell me I'm hot all the time.... so we should hang and shit. I'm really cool and down to earth I promise you like me. If you wanna kick it that's cool hit me back. PS- I gotta sweet car, I'll pick you up. My number is XXX-XXXX. holla back, baby." Only they spell worse and don't know how to capitialize for shit. tact. less.
My friends and I got a big kick out of fucking with people for like 3 days, but then it got old, so we deleted that shit. Too much upkeep....
Oh my(space) god, and the girls are even worse sometimes.... I have a couple of pics of myself on my motorcycles, and I keep getting messages from 17 year old girls saying "your bike is soooo hawt, when can i ride it with u?" Oh, that and asking me how far I can wheelie. I normally just tell them that my bike has no back seat and that their moms probably wouldn't like them riding around on a bike with a grown, tattooed man whom they just met on the internet.
And another fucking myspace pet peeve, while I'm at it..... -YOUR, YOU'RE. -THEIR, THERE. -KNOW, NO. -THEN, THAN. There IS a difference. Know and practice it. For grammar's sake, please. You will get absolutely no reply from me whatsoever if you fail at this simple task.
Jesus, I could go on forever.... how bout the people who send out 20 bulletins a day? And they normally only say shit like "I'm bored. Is anyone else?" or it's some stupid fucking 168 question survey that I wouldn't dare take the time to fill out myself, much less read all of your lame-ass answers. If I honestly gave a fuck enough about you to want to know how many times a day you brush your teeth, I'd just ask. K?
Needless to say, I "unfriend" a lot of stupid people.
Another personal anti-fave: the bulletins that say "You are now playing the hot picture game. Go to the friends profile who sent you this and comment on their hottest pic with the words, 'HOT PIC'." What it should really say is, "I have no friends and no self-esteem, and probably for a good reason, as none of the desperate fools on myspace care enough about me to comment on my sorry ass pictures of me posing with my ratty dog and '88 LeSabre."
If you don't know anything about myspace, then I must apologize right about this point. I'm sure none of this has made any sense whatsoever... but that's only because you're just not cool enough to be on myspace, of course.
-----------------------------
You know how there's cliché sayings like the Golden Rule, that you've heard all of your life, but it never really hits home until one day it smacks you upside the head hard enough to loosen a filling?
"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." That's mine for the day.
You ever wonder why they started putting the "probably" in there?
Well, I talked to God earlier when we were making that church sign up there, and he told me that they added the "probably" to it when I was born. "There is an exception to every rule," he said. He's so funny. And all knowing, to boot.
-t
It's mostly a total shithole, but whatever. I'm not ashamed. Much. I know some people on there, have gotten back in touch with some folks from high school through it, and have met, well, let's not go there right now.
Anyway, I just wanted to let my blog peeps know that if you're on that pile of crap website, send me a friend request so that we can make fun of all the dummies together. And sometimes I post stupid bulletins just to mess with people. And even if you're not on there, my page streams one of my songs. And my "band" page (there's a link to it from the other one) has some of my stuff available for (free) download.
Some people have like 6,000 "friends" on there like it's some sort of high school popularity contest. Like you really win a fucking prize for being a hot chick showing your ass and having a blue zillion guys hitting on you on the intarweb. Congratulations, you're gonna make myspace student council now for sure!!
Once, I created a fake profile of a hot chick on there just to see what would happen. It was fucking HILARIOUS. Within 10 minutes of having created the profile, my inbox was full of desperate pleas from all sorts of loser guys hoping to score. A grand total of about 3 of them looked like a chick might possibly go out with them if they showered, but then they opened their mouths. It's amazing the lack of male quality the ladies on myspace have to choose from. They all have names like "G-DOGG" and "BORN HUSSLA." Except for the emo ones, who always have names like "my soul is a helicopter with your blood in my veins." I was getting messages like, "Hey sxe, just wanna let u know that I'm down for whateva. Your'e hot, and some bitches tell me I'm hot all the time.... so we should hang and shit. I'm really cool and down to earth I promise you like me. If you wanna kick it that's cool hit me back. PS- I gotta sweet car, I'll pick you up. My number is XXX-XXXX. holla back, baby." Only they spell worse and don't know how to capitialize for shit. tact. less.
My friends and I got a big kick out of fucking with people for like 3 days, but then it got old, so we deleted that shit. Too much upkeep....
Oh my(space) god, and the girls are even worse sometimes.... I have a couple of pics of myself on my motorcycles, and I keep getting messages from 17 year old girls saying "your bike is soooo hawt, when can i ride it with u?" Oh, that and asking me how far I can wheelie. I normally just tell them that my bike has no back seat and that their moms probably wouldn't like them riding around on a bike with a grown, tattooed man whom they just met on the internet.
And another fucking myspace pet peeve, while I'm at it..... -YOUR, YOU'RE. -THEIR, THERE. -KNOW, NO. -THEN, THAN. There IS a difference. Know and practice it. For grammar's sake, please. You will get absolutely no reply from me whatsoever if you fail at this simple task.
Jesus, I could go on forever.... how bout the people who send out 20 bulletins a day? And they normally only say shit like "I'm bored. Is anyone else?" or it's some stupid fucking 168 question survey that I wouldn't dare take the time to fill out myself, much less read all of your lame-ass answers. If I honestly gave a fuck enough about you to want to know how many times a day you brush your teeth, I'd just ask. K?
Needless to say, I "unfriend" a lot of stupid people.
Another personal anti-fave: the bulletins that say "You are now playing the hot picture game. Go to the friends profile who sent you this and comment on their hottest pic with the words, 'HOT PIC'." What it should really say is, "I have no friends and no self-esteem, and probably for a good reason, as none of the desperate fools on myspace care enough about me to comment on my sorry ass pictures of me posing with my ratty dog and '88 LeSabre."
If you don't know anything about myspace, then I must apologize right about this point. I'm sure none of this has made any sense whatsoever... but that's only because you're just not cool enough to be on myspace, of course.
-----------------------------
You know how there's cliché sayings like the Golden Rule, that you've heard all of your life, but it never really hits home until one day it smacks you upside the head hard enough to loosen a filling?
"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." That's mine for the day.
You ever wonder why they started putting the "probably" in there?
Well, I talked to God earlier when we were making that church sign up there, and he told me that they added the "probably" to it when I was born. "There is an exception to every rule," he said. He's so funny. And all knowing, to boot.
-t
posted by tjayswift at 5:12 AM
2 Comments:
you're on myspace?
HUNNY! NO!! say it ain't so!!
please.....PLEASE!!!
Aww...you ARE to good to be true!!
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