home.. for a few days.
So the event in NYC went pretty well, although my flight home was.... well.... it was just one of those days. Flight delayed. Then canceled. Re-routed. Delayed. Re-ticketed. Under the wrong name. Hassled by TSA, etc, etc. Got home about 7 hours later than scheduled, and of course.... no bags. But amazingly, I was so happy just to be home... just to kiss the dog, to run my fingers along the velour of my avocado green couch, and sigh. Home.
Now I'm sitting on that same couch in the living room, drinking vodka and grape soda, and listening to "Return of the Mack." Why, I'm not quite sure, but it's all mysteriously hitting the spot at the moment.
Anyway, as I mentioned in an email to a friend earlier this evening- I think the events of the past few months, if nothing else, have served to show me that faith and passion are two things that I'll never lack. I may get down from time to time, but I hold a faith that my will can never be broken. And I still believe that those of us who are chosen by whatever power, for whatever reason, to endure these things, are put into these spots because either A) we need it to somehow fulfill our destiny, or B) we're supposed to endure and gain wisdom from it, and share that with others... Perhaps both. Perhaps the answer to A is B.
I'm tired of blaming other people. Tired of being confused and of dwelling. I've come to realize that things are just the way they are. There are plenty of things that I'll just never have the answers for. Plenty of actions that I'll never comprehend.... And that's generally irritating, considering my communicate/understand it/fix it personality type, but I think part of maturing is learing to accept the things which will be forever unknown. Moving on. Learning what we can, and never looking back. Never stepping in the same hole twice.
Which brings me full circle to this time last year.... I was sitting in that same old leather chair, crying, feeling both comforted and exposed by the electric buzz in the air, and the sweet sting of the needle.... having words forever inked into flesh to remind myself of that very sentiment. As a way to remind myself every morning when I look in the mirror, "You know what's right. You always have. Never lose faith in that."
There are few things about life and love that I know to be inherently true, and those are the few things that I should stick to and fight for without compromise. Because EVERY time I've done something against my better judgement, it's done nothing but make things worse. Without fail.
It's up to me at this point to retain the strength, and to apply the experiences of my past, to keep my own head above the water.
The way I see it, every tribulation is a lesson- regardless of which, if any, higher power you believe in. As so many people seem to forget, wisdom and intelligence are two completely different things. Our intelligence is given to us. Wisdom has to be earned. Through good old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears.
And this Thanksgiving, I'll make sure and remember that I am the person that I am today because of my misfortunes. Because of my failures. Because of my experiences, both positive and negative.
Don't lose focus on the things that really matter to you- whatever they may be.
See you soon, Chicago.
T
Now I'm sitting on that same couch in the living room, drinking vodka and grape soda, and listening to "Return of the Mack." Why, I'm not quite sure, but it's all mysteriously hitting the spot at the moment.
Anyway, as I mentioned in an email to a friend earlier this evening- I think the events of the past few months, if nothing else, have served to show me that faith and passion are two things that I'll never lack. I may get down from time to time, but I hold a faith that my will can never be broken. And I still believe that those of us who are chosen by whatever power, for whatever reason, to endure these things, are put into these spots because either A) we need it to somehow fulfill our destiny, or B) we're supposed to endure and gain wisdom from it, and share that with others... Perhaps both. Perhaps the answer to A is B.
I'm tired of blaming other people. Tired of being confused and of dwelling. I've come to realize that things are just the way they are. There are plenty of things that I'll just never have the answers for. Plenty of actions that I'll never comprehend.... And that's generally irritating, considering my communicate/understand it/fix it personality type, but I think part of maturing is learing to accept the things which will be forever unknown. Moving on. Learning what we can, and never looking back. Never stepping in the same hole twice.
Which brings me full circle to this time last year.... I was sitting in that same old leather chair, crying, feeling both comforted and exposed by the electric buzz in the air, and the sweet sting of the needle.... having words forever inked into flesh to remind myself of that very sentiment. As a way to remind myself every morning when I look in the mirror, "You know what's right. You always have. Never lose faith in that."
There are few things about life and love that I know to be inherently true, and those are the few things that I should stick to and fight for without compromise. Because EVERY time I've done something against my better judgement, it's done nothing but make things worse. Without fail.
It's up to me at this point to retain the strength, and to apply the experiences of my past, to keep my own head above the water.
The way I see it, every tribulation is a lesson- regardless of which, if any, higher power you believe in. As so many people seem to forget, wisdom and intelligence are two completely different things. Our intelligence is given to us. Wisdom has to be earned. Through good old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears.
And this Thanksgiving, I'll make sure and remember that I am the person that I am today because of my misfortunes. Because of my failures. Because of my experiences, both positive and negative.
Don't lose focus on the things that really matter to you- whatever they may be.
See you soon, Chicago.
T
posted by tjayswift at 1:16 AM
4 Comments:
Just a random question...noticed that this time, you finished with "T". Usually it is "-t". Was it just a typo or is there somenting else behind that?
(yes, I'm annoying and read too much into things that do not mean anything at all)
Consider it a moment of clarity. ;)
"As so many people seem to forget, wisdom and intelligence are two completely different things. Our intelligence is given to us. Wisdom has to be earned. Through good old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears."
How true and very well said. I was directed to your blog through a link on Special K's blog page. Some very entertaining reading here. Happy Thanksgiving! -Karen
I've had similar experiences and it's never easy to let go and know that sometimes there just are no answers. People come in and go out of our lives for reasons that we may not always recognize immediately, if ever. It's ironic that it's often those people or events that help us appreciate the people in our lives that are positive, loyal and true.
The beginning is a mystery and the end is a mystery, but it's from the end that the next beautiful journey begins.
Here's to a New Year!
~A
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