it's all about the music, baby.

band5
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Before somebody asks: Yes, I'm drunk.

So finally, I get to the good stuff...

We had a gig a couple of weeks ago at the Electric Ballroom in Knoxville.... I ended up playing bass, actually, which was a surprise, cause I'm totally a guitar player.

Nonetheless, I DO enjoy a lil bass fiddle now and then. It allows me to drink a little more onstage than I normally do, and bounce around like an idiot, since I don't have all the intricate chords and licks to hit.... and I've played bass in a couple of bands before, so I wasn't too scared, and I knew quite a bit of the material already.

Here's the stage before we went on:



Sooooo..... I got the call on Monday, I think, that we had the gig on Wednesday. I was up north visiting S, and not planning on coming back until Friday or so, but I made the sacrifice and tried to come back home on Tuesday to rehearse. And then lady luck caught up with me. I had just bought the aforementioned rims and tires for the 'Stang, and had a blowout on the Interstate about 50 miles out of her town.

I put the spare on and drove back to town to get it replaced, since it was brand new and under warranty against "structural failure," which is exactly what had happened. By the time they got the tire replaced, it was 6PM, and a drive home was pointless, so I stayed another night and drove home on Wednesday.... straight to Neal's house to do a quick run-through and pack up the gear.

We arrived just in time to miss soundcheck, but luckily the sound-man was smooth enough to squeeze it in before we went on in the least obtrusive manner possible.

We then proceeded to rock the faces of the Knoxville slums. This is what a stage full of ROCK looks like-




I don't think anyone got a picture, but some ghetto dude got onstage and tried to rap with us, and security made him get down. He obliged with a super-pimp backflip off the stage. For reals.

I got to sing a lil bit.



THIS is what I look like when I'm rocking your own personal face. Note the look of complete and total focus, depite the drunken haze. Or, as my buddy Doug said, it looks like I "got my thumb stuck." Hehe. I know you can feel the thunder, baby.... and be sure and dig the belt buckle.


Neal and I switched places so I could rock ass on his side of the stage.


Incase you were wondering, the blue wristband means, "I'm with the band, so I get to do whatever the hell I want, and I drink for free... so gimme another Grey Goose and Red Bull, wench." Maybe if you come out next time I'll get you a blue wristband....

Missed opportunity of the night: Backstage, I spotted a massive plume of Mardi-Gras colored feathers. I initally thought they were angel wings, so I decided that I would walk onstage in nothing but the feathery wings, my underwear, and my boots. But when I inquired about the feathers' ownership at the bar, I was told that it was "a 10 foot long headdress" for the drag shows, and that if I were to put it on, "all hell would break loose with the queens." I'm not so sure that 10 drag queens could kick my ass, but I'd rather not have to tell the story if they did.... So, reluctantly, I had to let the sexy feathers be.

The night did end on a positive note, as we had a fantastic show, and management was evidently really impressed with us. They asked us to play the first Wednesday of every month. Which is tomorrow, and I'm in Cali. But that's the breaks...

------------ time warp---------------


The following Monday, my UBER-talented buddy Scott McMahan had a gig at Alf's in Pigeon Forge... he graciously invited me to sit in on lead guitar, and I humbly obliged.

As you may recall, Monday was the night that the UT-LSU game was rescheduled to...

First off, let me say: Alf's has no damn clue how to make money. Scott brought an easy 20 people just to hear him sing, and they told him (AFTER he set up) that he wouldn't be able to play because a couple of regulars wanted to watch the game. Oh yeah, and he wouldn't be getting paid, either. 3 people wanted to watch the game, to be exact. And for some reason, it never occured to management that those people could actually watch the (closed-captioned) game while Scott sang for pennies and raked in the business....

But alas, Pigeon Forge saints Bobbie and Grant came through, and offered Scott the same amount of money the bar was paying for him to come play at their house immediately.

Then, one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life happened: We packed up, and the ENTIRE bar with the exception of the 3 fogeys left with us. We stopped off and picked up beer, and then set up at Bobbie and Grant's house, where we played to 25-30 people in a basement on a MONDAY night in backwoods, TN.

Scott and I did some sexy duets. In a totally platonic way, of course.



I played wicked solos to Sid, the dog with the best musical taste in East TN.



A wonderful time was had by all, and Scott was so happy, that he smashed his guitar at the end.



We wrapped the night up at Denny's, where Scott did shots of maple syrup while Jimmie and I did our best to act not drunk.


I'm out in Cali now, trying to keep from being bored to death in the Bay Area, and then I'll skip over to NYC in a couple of weeks. I do sincerely hope that things are swell at home, and I promise to keep you folks updated about future gigs.

Enjoy the waning summer sun.

-t