So here's a nice juicy something that I've never blogged about.
I'm sure that I've mentioned in the past that I honestly have THE WORST luck with women. I could count on one hand number of girlfriends that I've had who have NOT cheated. And I'd still have 3 or 4 fingers left over.
A few years ago, I had been with a particular young lady for just over 3 years. We'll call her "A." I spent about two of those years sharing a house with A and her mother. It was, despite its inital appearance, an awesome living arrangement. We all got along fantastically, and I handled many of the more manly duties around the house. This was during a time when I'd had a bit of a minor falling out with my own parents, and for those two years or so, her mother was a fantasic inspiration, confidant, and motivation for me.
At one point, her mother invited me to dinner alone, and I happily obliged. She actually
asked me to marry her daugher. She told me that she loved me as if I were her own son, and that while she didn't mind her other daughters' boyfriend, she
wanted me to be around forever. Wanted me to be a part of the family. It was, and will remain, one of the most touching moments of my life. She also asked me not to tell "A," and of course I didn't.
Fast forward about a month.
Without any warning whatsoever, "A's" mother had a massive stroke. "A" found her in her bedroom slumped over one morning when she went to say hi. We don't know how long she was there, but it wasn't looking good. She was still breathing, but barely. Whether or not she had any comprehension of what was going on around her is debatable.
Being that there wasn't a whole lot of immediate family around besides A, myself, and her sister, we were in a bit of a position. Her condition deteriorated at the hospital, and after waiting a few days to see if things improved, sleeping in the ICU waiting room, we made the decision to remove her from the life support, and shortly thereafter, she passed.
Wow. A completely healthy 51 year old lady, with whom I had just worked on the yard with the night before, completely incapicitated in the blink of an eye. It was like having the rug jerked out from underneath us.
"A" didn't really have any money at the time, as she was in college, and I had pretty much been supporting the both of us. I stood up and took care of a lot of the immediate financial needs. I helped plan and take care of the funeral, and took both "A" and her sister shopping for new dresses to wear to the funeral, mostly with money that I didn't really have to spend at the time.
I sang at the graveside services. I was the rock. I was there to console "A," and I can honestly say that I never shed a tear in front of her at the time. I knew that she couldn't handle it. She needed me to give her strength and courage, and as hard as it was, I put my emotions mostly aside in order to be there for her, and hold her together.
"A's" father was no longer in the picture, and she had always been a Momma's girl, anyway. It was devestating to her on a level that I cannot even begin to comprehend. "A" lost both her Mother and her best friend on that day.
To cut to the chase, about a week after the funeral, "A" began to withdraw. I could kinda understand it at the time- she just couldn't handle having to deal with anything more than the grief at the time.
She asked for space. She began spending the nights at her mother's house, while I stayed elsewhere. She quit going to her classes. She began drinking heavily, and staying out all night every night with her friends.
One day, I stopped by on my lunch break to give her some money. There was a strange car in the driveway, which I didn't think too much about. Lots of old friends had come out of the woodwork to offer support at the time.... Of course I still had a key to the house, so I let myself in.
Her bedroom door was locked. I knocked, heard some shuffling about, and she told me to wait a minute. At that point, I got a little uneasy, and asked that she open the door immediately. And when she did, the look that was on her face said it all.
It was the look that someone gives you when they know that they're screwed. There was no attempt at apology, no words, no anything. She just looked at me, and I knew.
The guy that was in her bed attempted to introduce himself to me. My gun was within my reach, and I seriously considered shooting him dead on the spot.
Instead, I turned around, and walked out of that house for the last time.
They are now married, and I haven't spoken to her since. I do keep up with some of her family, and none of them have heard much from her, either.
For the first time in three years, I saw them at a concert last week, and I know that they saw me. I was with another girl- actually, one who "A" used to know pretty well. The eye contact was awkward, but I couldn't think of a single word to say that seemed appropriate.
I DO honestly hope that they're happy.
My relationship with her was never perfect. It had its ups and downs, just like any, but hindsight being 20/20, I lacked the maturity and experience at the time to recognize the signs that it couldn't ever last.
I'm telling you people, from LOTS of past experiences- if you have anything more than a sneaking suspicion that someone is a liar, a cheater, or both, just leave. Do yourself a favor and get the hell out. It's only a matter of time. TRUST ME.
I've got lots of pictures to share from the past week, and I'll get to putting them up shortly. Hope everyone is well.
-t
