Regina

Regina
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

.. is the name of my new gold-top. Isn't she just gorgeous??

I had an ephiphany a moment ago- drivers in LA just suck. At least in New York, people are only in a hurry. If you screw up as a pedestrian, you'll probably just get honked at and possibly cursed.

Here in SoCal, people are just way too busy on the phone, putting on makeup, posing, or whatever to actually pay attention to what the hell is going on...

Thus, with me being the make-a-difference kind of saint that I am- I have set out with a goal in mind that will not only teach those dim-witted drivers a lesson, but also possibly save some lives... Yes, I have formulated a plan that will benefit all mankind, as well as make me some spending money for my troubles....

I have set out to get runover while here in LA. It can't hurt THAT bad, right? Plus, I'm kinda impervious to physical discomfort when personal gain is involved.

I will fight tooth and nail to be the person closest to oncoming traffic at every intersection. I will fearlessly begin crossing the INSTANT my little walky-man lights up on the other side, fully realizing that I may not make it there without contusions and abrasions. I will step lively into harm's way in hopes of catching a taste of the shimmery grill on that new Mercedes.

And here's the genius part- I promise that the instant I hit the pavement, I will pop right back up with a contract in one hand and a pen in the other... "Sir, would you mind signing here, here, and here? Initial here and here, we're going to need your social security number and insurance policy number here, and your back account, credit card info, and car keys, one more signature here, and we're on our way... "

They'll never know what hit 'em. I promise I won't get hurt too bad- I'll be totally expecting it, so I can make a dramatic, Mary Lou Retton-inspired double backflip, one and a half twist pike triple lutz over the hood and onto the pavement. And it will be the stuff of legend.

Infact, that reminds me- the X-Games are going on here this weekend, in the Staples Center parking lot. This ramp is HUGE. I know I just said I want to get hit by a car, but anyone who jumps a skateboard off of that ramp is just fucking CRAZY.



Oh, did I mention how bad-ass the weather is here? I know we just had some bad storms at home. So here's a picture of sunshine, pretty flowers, and a palm tree. Eat your hearts out, bitches...



Evidently George Lucas is doing the keynote speech at this event- so there's lots memoribilia. I tried to fly this piece of shit, but R2D2 wouldn't let me.



And at the end of my fantastic work day today, I smashed the shit of my thumb AGAIN.



I knew I shouldn't have had that second bottle of wine at lunch...

-t

I just LOVE mornings.

So.... just to clarify... I can make a living travelling the world and working with technology- but I couldn't figure out how to turn off this alarm clock if you had a gun to my head right now. Arrrrrrrrrrgh.

It would appear that my talents lie more in turning on than turning off. Although I think it may just be a state of mind thing... perhaps I should look at it as "getting" the clock off rather than "turning" it off. Maybe I'd have more success then?

-t

This weekend at the Gap

Credit Killboy and Pete for the photo

I haven't been home much recently, but I do keep up with my boys from the EastTnRiders crew quite regularly. It just seems appropriate that I mention the Deal's Gap situation this past weekend- there are lots of rumors circulating, and although I don't have all the facts, I'd like to at least point some folks in right direction...

First off- there was a fatality on 129 on Thurday evening involving a man on a BMW with his 14 year old son riding passenger. The bike left the road and continued off the hillside before colliding with a tree. Unfortunately, the driver did not survive. I know that some details are unclear at this point, but the young boy who was riding passenger was able to climb back up the hillside in the morning and flag down a car. He will be okay physically, but it really gets me down thinking about what he must be going through right now- not to mention that night of torture on the mountainside before he could find his way back up. So far, I have not seen or heard of anywhere to send flowers or donations.

A second accident happened on Friday involving Jack Wolfe of Hagerstown, MD, who was riding his Buell at the Gap to celebrate his birthday... Mr. Wolfe lost control of his motorcycle and went down an embankment as well. This one hits particularly close to home- a few of the EastTnRiders crew were in the area riding, and were immediately on the scene. Our boys went straight down the mountain to be with Mr. Wolfe and offer what help they could until the EMTs arrived. They assisted in the extrication, and upon getting Mr. Wolfe back up to the road, he went into arrest. Unfortunately, he was apparently pronounced dead while aboard the LifeFlight helicopter.

At the request of Mr. Wolfe's widow, in lieu of flowers or donations to the family, a fund has been setup by a member of the ETR group to benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Both checks/money orders as well as Paypal will be accepted- you can find the address and more details here at Killboy's site as well as here on the ETR forum. Thanks, Vance and Chris. You guys are awesome.

There is an article in the Daily Times on both accidents, and more details from those who were on the scene can be found in the original thread on the ETR board.

In spite of the tragedies this past week, I'm as proud as I can be of my good friends from the forum, as well as the local EMTs. You guys and girls really stepped up and gave your all. I just wanted to take a bit of my own space here and tell you all thanks. I know it wasn't easy, and y'all are awesome for going above and beyond to help our fallen brother. I'm sure his family is grateful for all your help, as well.

If you're a local rider or a vacation rider in the area, and you're not registered on the EastTnRiders forum, I would encourage you to do so. It's an amazing community of good friends who all enjoy the same thing- riding. If nothing else, log in and tell the folks who helped out on the scene how much we appreciate having people like them around.

I'll finish this post off by reminding all the riders- if you don't have any emergency contact cards, make some up. Keep one in the breast pocket of your riding jacket. I won't go through what all should be on it, as I'm sure you're all grown up enough to figure it out.... but it can make a world of difference- both for you and your loved ones- should anything ever happen to you.

I personally take it one step further; *anytime* I'm heading out to ride, I call the people I love. Just to say, "Hi, Mom/Dad/Sweetheart. I'm going riding- just wanted to let you know..." and the first thing I do as soon as I return safely is to call back and let them know that all is well. We take enough chances and put our loved ones through enough worry by getting out and riding every day- the least we can do is put their minds at ease by keeping the communication up. Plus, you never know..

Sorry for all the serious talk, but sometimes issues like this just have to be discussed.

Please be careful out there. All the gear, all the time.

And remember to enjoy yourselves. After all, that's why we do it, right?

-t

From East to West

geetars
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Getting settled in here in Los Angeles.

I wrapped things up in NYC on Friday... While I was certainly ready to get the hell out of there, I did get some great shots....

I just love all of the angles and contrast in that town.









So anyway- left NYC (which was kind of a relief), and caught a flight back to Cincy. Then drove over to Indy, had yet another fantastic weekend (thanks- you're absolutely wonderful babe), and drove home on Sunday. Traffic was a royal bitch on the interstate, and I had plenty of time to kill, so I pulled off and bought some maps. Then I charted a sweet detour on Hwy 25 headed south from Williamsburg, KY on down to Lake City, TN. It's a shaded, winding mountain road, and if I ever have the bike up that way, I'm definitely hitting it up. Cove Lake State Park looked pretty fun, as well.

Monday I had a great night playing some blues, and got to catch up with my buddy Doug, who will be moving to Johnson City soon. We're SO gonna miss ya on Monday nights, bro. But I am glad that you got really drunk and told me you loved me. Seriously. You rule. And I love you, too... *sniffle*

Neal-O does his best to look goofy while I put on my game face before going onstage...



Here's one of the crew during our standard epic jam session at the end of the night. Tell Neal to move his big ass head next time so people can actually see my guitar solo.



The rest of my life between then and now has been mostly worthless and completely uninteresting, so I'll spare you the story about my laundry. I'm staying at the Westin Bonaventure here in LA, and it's definitely one of the nicer places I've been to in recent memory, even if my room doesn't have a mini-bar. Dammit. Looking forward to kicking it with my pals from San Fran here this week- LA's a great place to go out and have fun, and I've got a few friends who live here, too.

Looks like I've got about 8 more days here, followed by a day and a half off in Vegas (!), and then around 5 days worth of work there before coming home until the month-long Amsterdam/Paris trip. It's gonna be quite busy for me the next couple of months... Everybody make sure Knox-Vegas doesn't get soft while I'm gone...

-t

NYC

071905
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Evidently it sucks to be in business in Times Square... but I'll spare you the rant on that one, because I'm in a happy mood.

This town gives me the strangest set of feelings- you really just can't help but love it and hate it at the same time. In my 5 days here so far, I've seen the most amazing street art, as well as the most pointless and brutal street fights of my lifetime.

And just to clarify while I'm thinking about it- people here aren't really so much rude as they're just in a hurry. Nothing's really personal at all.

I'm staying right on Times Square, which, like most everything else here, is both good and bad. I'm less than a block from nearly anything I could ever want, 24/7. Of course, that also kind of means that there are people in the street raising hell all the time, as well.

You probably don't want to see any dumb cliche pics of the square, so let's move right along.

I had the day off on Sunday, so I took advantage of the opportunity to see the city. Central Park, if you've never seen it, is HUGE. Just huge.



It was an angle I didn't really intend on the bee, but it kind of worked nonetheless....



Located on one side of the park is Strawberry Fields, which is a small garden dedicated to the memory of John Lennon. It was beautiful, and there were a LOT of people there bringing flowers. I didn't want to cheapen the moment by being a photo-tourist. Hope you guys understand....

Then was a quick taxi ride over to Greenwich Village, where I did some window shopping and checked out the street market. Lots of cool stuff from all over the world. I totally shoulda taken more pics.

There was some world-class graffiti, as well.



Then I bounced on over to SoHo and did some window shopping in a bit higher-rent district. Visited the Apple store (a weird place) and gawked at the sexy stuff at Agent Provocateur.

There are some really cool older building in that district, for sure.



Work has been kind of a bitch this week- the only union with a contract at the convention center has for some reason decided to put the hammer down on us, so it seems we can't scratch our asses without being told it's the union's job. While I fully and completely symphatize and understand the raison d'etre behind the union, it's really the foremen and the suits that seem to be the real dicks. It almost seems like legal extortion- we pay $200 an hour for a guy who knows absolutely nothing about audio, just so I can stand around all day and teach him how to do my job. I'm not ALLOWED to touch anything, because HE PAID dues to the union- it's HIS job. Whether he's any good at it or not. If I try to say anthing, here's what I get: "You know, I'm the electrician. This plugs into electricity. It's my job. What if you plug it in wrong and mess up my circuit? This is my job. I come to work here every day, and you want to come in and take my job? How will my kids eat? You wouldn't take money from my kids' mouths, would you?"

And THEN the foreman comes over in his suit.... with 4 BIG linebacker-style tattooed, scar-faced cronies. He says something along the lines of, "We hear you're not pleased with our service. We're the only union with a contract at this hall, and thus, we are the only electrical provider. You aren't required to have electrical in your booth, and since this business relationship is obviously not pleasing either one of us, maybe it would be a better idea if you didn't have any electricity at all in your booth.... and by the way, if you do, we're gonna have to charge you time and a half, because it's after 3PM now."

All this after we've paid $100k to put on an event for two and a half days.... and they continue to attempt to extort a little more out of us at every opportunity. It's pretty safe to say we will NOT be back at this event next year. Some events we just don't have a choice, but we're the anchor vendor at this one.... if we leave, the whole event will probably fall apart, so guess what? We're going to take our million-dollar ball and go home.

Rant off.


Anyway, I'm in high spirits nonetheless. I always am... just happy that this show will be over on Thursday, and on Friday, I'll be back in Indy for the weekend before making it home first of next week.

And you know what I'm going to do first thing when I get home??

That's right- I'm gonna ride.

-t

If you don't already know..

fupa
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

...what a FUPA is, just ask Neal-O. He'll demonstrate. And he's really good at explaining it- note the look of complete captivation on Firefighter Jake's face.

Been feeling a bit guilty about not updating often enough. Therefore, I will try to reward you with more dumb pictures than usual.

First off, the news that won't fit anywhere else.... Yesterday was the day for me to switch from Nextel to Cingular, and I was really tired of having a crap phone with no cool features. So I spent my life savings and got a Palm Treo 650. And it rocks much ass. I'll just stop right there before I sound like too much of a dork- although my "scenester" friends in Hollywood are telling me that "dork" is the new "bad boy" this year... but dammit, someone still needs to tell the frat boys that pink polo shirts just aren't that cool when 3 out of every 4 have them on.

Which is a not so perfect segway into my next "un-relatable" news.... so I guess that makes it work, kinda like a double negative... Anydamnway, my cynical, hyper-critical, can't-ever-just-appreciate-something-for-what-it-is buddy Maddox wrote the funniest, most on point article I've ever seen about blogs. I know he's a whiny bitch, but it's funny. Just freaking read it.

Today's political commentary- A message to my friends in France- quit laughing, bitches. I've got 20 Euros that says you're next, just because you're so damn smug.

They know I'm only kidding. (I have to start pissing my Parisian friends off now, since I'll be there in a month. They won't ever get drunk with me and rassle in the streets if I don't get them good and riled up now... ) Oh yeah, plus your Mom called. She said "ribbit."

Okay, so the headline pic is the only non-blurry one I got during the party... but I did sober on up on Saturday and get my happy ass out to take some decent ones.

Flowers were in bloom, and I risked life and limb amongst the deadly poisonous flying insects to bring you these pictures from the edge of the wasteland...



..was trying to express my more feminine side with this one..



In keeping with the happy/scary nature theme, here are a few from Elkmont- a nice place to spend a summer afternoon.



The woods were thicker than Jake's pubic hair. And that's saying something.



Then on Sunday, I watched the motoGP race over at Neal-O's while I molested his animals... Max liked it though-



The baby snake is the CUTEST thing ever. I know for a fact that I've seen bigger earthworms.




I'm surprised they don't make people eat these on Fear Factor. Oh, wait, I haven't watched TV in two years. They probably do now.



Shhh, don't tell anyone, but my birthday is Thursday.
Hope everyone is having fun- I'm back up to Indy this weekend, then off to NYC before I stop back in Indy again on the way home. You know it's good when...

Oh, and Shelley- my bruises are *almost* gone now....

See ya soon,

-t

Big Tired, Little Update

bonelick
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Got home on Friday, had a big party, got drunk and demolished some random crap in my backyard, watched some fireworks, woke up Saturday and drove up to north to see S, where I had an amazing time... (wink, wink).

More pictures and words later, after I figure out which way is up...

-t