So many pictures, so little time...

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Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

Guess that means I should keep the words to a minimum for ya this time...

To the right: Momma's new kittens are growing up SO fast...

I had a GREAT time up north visitin S. (again).... the adventures are neverending.

Somehow, it seems like trouble always follows me...


WHO is the luckiest lady on earth?? Those roses got HUGE when they opened up fully....


I mean seriously, how many women have a man who lets her paint his toenails??


AND, I cooked both her both Hamburger Helper as well as some excellent grilled cheese... complete with Cheddar, Colby Jack, and American.... plus non-fat butter substitute.. And I only smoked the place up a *little* bit in the process... sorry hon, I'm totally working on my cooking skills, I promise.

Neal-o and I were riding around in Maryville the other day and saw a double rainbow. I was able to get a couple of decent shots.


We found the end, but I guess somebody else beat us to the pot of gold... probably because Neal's french. If you look real close, you can see the second rainbow in this one.


You know, I just realized that between the whole toenail thing and the rainbow, that this has turned into the gayest post EVER. But it's all good- I'm fully secure with my manhood...

And finally, I decided to toy around with a new look in the facial hair department... I was sorta going for the "I woke up too late for work to shave the past couple of days" look. Or, the "10 o'clock shadow"...


What do you think... good or bad?


I got to hit the Gap with Firefighter Jake the other day.... a total blast, as always. And I'm hella happy for my transplanted Canadian buddy Ben, who scored a NICE job up at the CROT.... you rule, moose fucker!!

SOOOO busy right now- I'll update more as soon as I can... til then- keep it between the mustard and the mayonnaise....


-t

Left Las Vegas

vivaaaaa
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

So this update'll be quick and dirty- but you're not complaining. Hell, you probably wish you had pigtails...

So anyway, I'm back at the hacienda now. For a short bit. One night, I guess... Neal-O came over earlier and helped me play guitar and waste some time.

The road got OLD this trip- and I'm glad to be on my own damn time for a bit. It was a strange feeling today getting in the car and driving. Sometimes I get rental cars when I travel, but I spent the past two weeks without. This place feels less and less like home every time I come back... and I'm thinking that's not a good thing.

So here's the funny exchange of the week:

I'm in Vegas, just heading up to the room after a long day at work, dead-ass tired... I board the elevator with one other person, a middle aged, overweight woman (I'm talking 18 chins), with an ice cream in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other.... I hop on, she hits the button for the 25th floor, I hit the button for the 11th floor, and the door closes.

Upon reaching the 11th, the door opens, I casually punch the door close, and then the 14th floor button.

Lady: I thought you needed the 11th floor?

Me: Yeah, but I just realized that was the floor I was on a couple of nights ago in L.A.

Lady: That's really sad.

Me: Yeah.

Everyone have a great weekend. I know I will...

-t

A Day Off

hatechris
Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

... in Vegas, no less. So I'm sure most of you will be quite disappointed to find that I've done absolutely nothing today. I am being so lazy, it's unbelieveable.

Last night, I had the BEST filet mignon of my life at Ruth's Chris steakhouse, got shithoused, and went to see a great cover band. Got in late and slept till noon today. Yeah, I know- I'm awful dull this week. But on to the photos:

Dave and I kickin it in the limo on the way to the hotel...


We were trying to find some entertainment, and I noticed the sign at the Sahara had burned.


My buddy Tim Dogg had to go to the doctor the other day for a little procedure. He sent out this picture to 10 cell phones with the text, "In memphis for surgery. Good thoughts y'all."


So not thinking, I clicked "reply to all" and sent a picture back with the text, "Good luck, bitch."


Well, it turned out that a few of the people (none of whom I knew) hadn't yet seen his message. Needless to say, I got a few phone calls ranging from "I think you sent your picture to the wrong number" to "What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole."

I'm so good at making new friends...

Went back to Quark's Star Trek Lounge for some food earlier... I'll have to snap some pics down there later.

In the meantime, here's one just for you, Walt:


Can't wait to see my peeps at home on Friday. More from here in Vegas soon.....

-t

One more down...

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Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

I haven't posted any pics of me lately, so here's ya one... there's probably one more if go to my Flickr gallery.

Damn, it sure is good to have this show under wraps now... gonna head out tomorrow to the land of sin and debauchery for a couple days of rest (yeah, right) before MORE work. I'll see you Tennesseans on Friday...

Today at the show, my Aussie buddy Damien's wife baked us all about 100 badass chocolate chip cookies... They didn't last long.



The day's comedic moment: one of our booth model chicks mentioned how good the cookies looked. I explained to her that she was MORE than welcome to them...

Model: "I'd love one, but I just can't."
Me: "Why can't you?"
Her: "I have a bikini photo shoot on Saturday."
Me: "So you can't have *A* cookie?"
Her: "No, it'll go straight to my ass."
Me: "One cookie will go straight to your ass?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Okay, enjoy your fifth cup of sugary, milky Starbucks...."
Her: "Thanks!!!"

Wow. And how is that prepared??

I told Homey Dogg tonight that he looked just like the black Terminator. His reply- "Cause I am."

What a pimp.

Look for a fun update soon from Vegas....

Till then- keep it between the mustard and the mayonnaise...

-t

Room Service Again...

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Originally uploaded by tjayswift.

STILL here in LA. Heading over to Vegas on Friday, which should be at least slightly more entertaining...

The city of angels leaves me with a couple of burning questions: "Why are beautiful models all so STUPID??" "Are cigarettes $8 a pack everywhere but Tennessee?" "Did I wear this shirt already?" and most importantly- "How much money's left on my food budget?"

I've managed to have a *little* fun, the most notable of which was kicking it at my friend Walt's crib for a bit before heading out to a fun dinner and cruise down Sunset with the boys. His liquor cabinet is unbelievable...

Walt has maybe the cutest dog in the world (with the exception of Jager, of course)... whaddaya think?



Kiki is amazingly well endowed for a Maltese, but sometimes I'm not sure if Walt's not just a little too proud of that fact-



We helped Walt move some stuff from Cupertino into his place, and found some of the strangest things in his 'burban.... Here, Homey Dogg samples a burger made for a MAN.



For some reason, I'm now watching "House Party" while I eat my room service burger. Strange, yet somehow it's just right... Heh, he just said "rump wranglers."

Hoping to catch some more X-Games practice while I'm here- the setup is sweet.



Dude, Walt- thanks, man. You've made this trip worthwhile. Come see me and Jager in TN someday...


-t